hmm

finally! finally! finally!



ever since 26th Mar, we talked again on msn. after almost 1 and a half mths of silence and uncertainity whether this friendship will continue, we finally talked again.




friendship??? is tt what i m reali thinking abt? hmm. i dun know. i realii dun know.




everytime when i see him online, i wanted so so so so so badly to talk to him. but i m scared! i m so sacre of the consequences involved. what if he doesn't reply? what if he goes offline? what if he blocks me?
there are so many "what ifs" going ard my mind! and it was during exam time for the past weeks, i did not dare to take these risks.





finally after so long and much considerations, i managed to click on his nick.. and said :" Hey!"






oh man!! he appeared away straight away!! i was like....oh no!! no chance liao la!!!





but.....................after 8 mins, he replied!




he said" Hey!"
"How have u been?"




and he started talking abt his days spent at Little India doing the roadshow.. hmm.. and abt how funny indians can be..


i'm so so so happy! i was jumping here and there. there and here, just like a soccer player who has just scored a goal in the 90th minute..



and i began to update myself abt my current life as well..he replied almost immediately.. i can see tt he is reali putting in effort for this friendship as well.




he said " anyway, i'm glad that u are doing well now.. haha"





i m so so so wanting to cry la.. why?? everything is in such a state now when i could have done better?





actually i was reali happy to have this conversation with him. but my heart kind of feel another way when i saw his display picture. is him and his gf. the display pic serves as a serious warning for me.....
meishan! yr feelings for him can only stop here!!! dun sink in any deeper. he's attached. he's someone else's. he doesn't belong to u.





i know i know. i know all these. i'm just confused. am i reali reali happy becuz we talked- tat means-am i still holding on to any possibility tt might happen between us??? or am i just happy that we still continue this friendship??




the only thing i know is tt.. i did not cry anymore. nor did i tink abt him when i sleep last nite.. it was a just liek a burden taken off..






i guess, i will only be the one tt know the reason. thanks E=)